In a need to breathe some life into this blog now that my social life has taken a turn towards boredom, I'm going to start the "Worst Thing Ever" series, which will illustrate some of the worst things ever that occur during my (and yours?) everyday life.
The first installment of the Worst Thing Ever is the "Shit Splash."
Ring a bell?
If you've never experienced the "Shit Splash," then you have figured out life. You have hit nirvana and eternal enlightenment. For the rest of us, it's something that can't be avoided no matter how hard we try.
You sit down to take a shit. Like most times, you take your piss before you take your shit.
Then you take your shit. Ahhh, that felt great. Nice to get that out.
But wait, there's still a little left.
So you let go of the remaining shit, which wasn't much but as it drops into the piss/shit toilet water, it splashes back at your ass and now you have shit/piss/toilet water on your ass.
Worst thing ever.
So now you gotta take the toilet paper and clean off your ass extra due to the Shit Splash that just occurred.
How do you avoid this? I have no idea.
Maybe I am the only person that has ever experienced this, maybe not. Maybe there's some trick to avoiding this that my parents never shared with me. I would hope that they wouldn't keep such a secret from their only son but who knows?
I haven't found the solution yet and therefore I deem the Shit Splash to be The Worst Thing Ever.
7 comments:
An easy way to avoid the shit splash is to just toss a couple pieces of toilet paper in the toilet before you take a shit
Quality post man, lol.
Interesting concept. I will definitely test that out.
I'm in my office rolling at this post. Classic!!!!
how about not eating so godamn much to the point where so many individual shits come out in one session...eat more veggies for a nicer consistency in your shit...+__+
lol@tekmo...but will prolly have to agree with him on the veggies...lol
here's the scientific question we dicussed yesterday..
if you sit higher, are you more likely to have the ish splash cause it splashes higher from the drop?
or if you sit lower, are you more likely to have the ish splash on you cause your ass is closer to the water (but it won't splash as high)?
Man ya'll musta been smoking that good good to start talking about that! lol
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