First of all, last night I went to HP and sucked it up, ate shit, played terrible, paid people off and basically gave my money away to some fat piece of sh*t that I will undoubtedly claim as a charity tax write-off to the save the whales foundation of Inglewood fucking California. This guy wiped his ass with me on two hands. He called my 6x raise on the button with 7-5 suited (I had ace-jack) and the flop comes 5-7-ace. Should I have gotten away from it? Yes. Was he a horrible player? Yes. Was I worse? Yes. If i wasn't up against the fucking marshmallow man it would have been easier to lay down but I saw this guy lose his stack with K-10 to some fool when the board was K-2-2-5-x and the other guy had 55. So basically I suck and all John Candy look-alikes pwn me. -800 last night and I don't want to bore you with any bad beats, coolers or straight up shitty play on my behalf. I suck right now and I need Phil Ivey to bitch slap me with a straight flush to get me to wake up.
Lately I'm either rebuying or short-stacked. That's it. I never go up.
On to better news. Barry Bonds if you're reading this, please break the home run record tonight. I'm going to the Dodgers game and thanks to Young V I have a ridiculous seat behind home plate. I'm going to take pictures up the yanger so I'll post them tomorrow. I'm just hoping he will not only tie the record but break it. I doubt it. But myself and sorry ass Bud Selig will be there. Personally, I think Barry Bonds is the best hitter to ever play the game. I fully realize that he's been assisted by steroids, but I still think he's the greatest. He did things with and without the steroids that no other man has ever accomplished. Let's go buddy, do it for me tonight. However, with my current luck he won't even play.
This is a great shirt made by upper playground.
In other news, I'm on the hunt for a roommate. However, I'm not even looking. Either Young V or Tipsy T is moving in with me or I'm holding out until one of the following five people is willing to move in:
1) Vida Guerra (Picture should explain it all. I was lucky enough to hang out with her one night and she had everything I need and looks just as good in person, while she's drunk.)
2) Megan Fox (I've only seen her in Transformers and I was half-asleep but it sold me.)
3) Phil Ivey (What more could I ask for than head's up matches against Ivey every night? Plus we'd invite Vida and Megan over for parties every night.)
4) Devin the Dude (Hip hop role model. Ohhh what an ugly world this is.)
5) Pac Man Jones (Let's face it: he knows how to party.)
Actually I'm gonna have to throw two more possibilities out there:
6) Kim Kardsashian (Uhh....see ray j video ***NOT WORK SAFE EXPLICIT VIDEO***)
and finally
7) Bill Clinton (This is my guy for life)
Otherwise, I'll be living alone and turning my apartment into an urban palace...unless I keep losing $800/night, in which event I will be moving back to Seattle with my parents and sleeping on the couch for the rest of my life.
Let's see what else... girls are mad at me... apartment is a mess... job is hectic as ever... poker sucks... my baseball team is having our worst season ever... my basketball team sucks right now...
Life is good!!
I'll update the numbers, basically I played like two hours or something and dropped $800. I hate losing.
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