Back at the Beach (Already?!)

I am going to type out a quick blog about my night, which was actually great. Too bad I'll start feeling it right after lunch, when my eyelids will carry the weight of a small African nation and my brain will go into Hewlett Packard sleep mode.

I have something better to post up comparing my jobs but it's being finished and someone wanted me to share why I'm an idiot based on last night.



I'm really not that big of an idiot but I'll explain.

I've been living in Los Angeles for about nine years now. In those nine years, I've taken my sorry ass to the beach on a date maybe six times. Not even a date, just going to hang out at the beach with a girl. Six times.

I went Tuesday night and got the spook of my life from some bastard playing petting zoo with my leg.

This is the point where you're supposed to ask me "So Kev, where were you last night at approximately 3:00 a.m.?"

You guessed it.

Despite my vow to never return to the beach at night on a 'date,' I was back at the beach last night for the seventh time in nine years and second time in two nights.

I swear to God I had a plan last night and it consisted of neither a woman nor the beach.

6:00 P.M.: Play basketball, win basketball game. Done. Although we did almost manage to blow the entire game and some 6'9" beast who needs to at LEAST be in the NBDL dunked (shitted) all over us. Luckily, he fouled out.

7:30 P.M.: Play softball, win softball game. Done.

8:00 P.M.: Hang out with teammates, eat dinner. Done.

9:00 P.M.: Do load of laundry. Done.

9:15 P.M.: Play sit n go's on Full Tilt. This is where the plan goes to hell. Was it only me or was Full Tilt on Full Felt last night? I couldn't get on the damn site. I tried about 5,000 times and it couldn't connect. I know it wasn't just me because I checked some forums and other people were having problems as well. So now I can't play my planned three sit n go's for the night.

All of a sudden I get a call from a friend who I've been after for a few months now. Out of nowhere, she asks me if I want to hang out. Mind you, she is seemingly a ten. She has great conversation, is beautiful, blah blah blah.

Okay, it's only 12:30 a.m. and I have to be up at 8:00 a.m. and we've never hung out before. Sure, let's do it. I have to admit my mind is kind of wandering as to what her intent is at this point in the night. We were supposed to do dinner like three weeks ago and it didn't happen. We've never hung out and now all of a sudden she wants to kick it. Interesting. Did I mention it's 12:30 a.m.?

So we agree to meet up at "The Good Hurt" on Venice. Of course it's closed. So we wander towards Venice Beach and end up at a place called "The Brig," which I've never been to before but it was a great little bar.



Here is a hilarious write-up that I just found online of the joint:

Color me nostalgic, but this place certainly had a better vibe when the Venice Shoreline Crips ran the pool tables, Z-Boys sold bags of pot in the parking lot, and drinks were free after random gunshots.

Bereft of place, I pine wistfully for a simpler time: dollar beer, horizontal television static, rusty switchblades, etc.

Souless hipsters eviscerated the soul of this former gem. And while I don't expect the entire neighborhood to keep the same face--hello, Pinkberry!--it's tough to chat-up an old flame without staring at her fake nose.

However, if you're from the Eastside and want to meet like-minded Eastsiders, this place was revamped especially for you.

So we get to the bar at 1:20 A.M. with enough time to have a Corona. Then what? We still want to hang out. My apartment has been in a state of post-hurricane disaster for a few weeks now so that's not an option. But hey, why do we need to go there when the beach is only five minutes away.

F*** it. She is looking like the truth, brought her own Bob Marley and I'm already up. Let's go.



We parked at the Santa Monica Pier and what do we see? About eight police cars in the parking lot arresting some minors, probably for drinking.

Or who knows? Maybe they were running up on couples and feeling on their legs while they were making out. Uggggh.

We end up going down to the beach, with the police shining their headlights directly at us from about 200 yards back and she hands me the Bob to light it up. I'm clearly a little more hesitant to just fire up in front of the po-po's then she is, but I'm not about to be the bitch so we ended up smoking in plain view of the police. I guess if they had come to arrest us or question us we could have just jumped in the ocean? WTF.

At this point I'm thinking, "Why the hell am I back at the beach? Now I'm smoking trees right in front of the police and am the hands-on favorite to be the next guy sitting in the parking lot with cuffs on. I am a certified moron."

Luckily, we made it through our hour on the beach without getting arrested or molested by a stranger and I am already past my fear of being at the beach on a date. Beach molestor, you are nothing compared to the Wizard of Oz satanic flying monkeys!

I wish I could post pictures of this young lady but that would be inappropriate and it's not like I haven't gotten my ass handed to me by a chick who exposed me on the internet before. I learned my lesson.

I got to bed by 5 a.m. and somehow I'm here at work, ready to treat the vending machine like a stripper full of red bulls. Make it rain!!



Poker

I haven't played in three days. This is the longest that I've gone without playing in about three months. Crazy. I'll be back on the grind tonight. For the poker people, sorry about the lack of poker content the past few days. I have something in store for tomorrow related to poker. I have a few goals to start working on, primarily winning $200/day until the end of the challenge. I think the challenge was supposed to end like August 24th or something so I have about 30 days. If I can average $200/day, that's $6k (based on my math, which is suspect). Throw in a few big days and I might be able to make it to $20k. I'd also like to have my online bankroll at $1k by then, which probably won't happen. Yes, I am an online donk.

As far as my internet rap contest is going, I think I'm ahead 7-5 in votes right now. But again, my math is suspect.

Love is love
Peace!