$50 for a piece of bread

About a year ago I stumbled across something on the internet that said Daniel Negreanu was offering a thousand dollars to a Commerce Casino security guard.

What was the thousand dollars for? Eating one slice of bread in under 60 seconds (yes, only one slice). The only rules are that the security guard can’t drink any fluids during the 60 seconds and that when the minute is over, the security guard must have completely swallowed the bread.

Well apparently it’s not that easy. According to Negreanu, the security guard (who was a huge guy) didn’t even come close and the entire casino was going wild over it.

Fast forward to my Friday night poker session at Hollywood Park Casino.

Friday nights at Hollywood Park Casino are always interesting and actually a lot of fun (if you can avoid the bad beats). It is a weird and intriguing combination of the following people playing poker:

1. People that just got their paychecks and are hoping to score big but will inevitably lose it all. If they were good players, they obviously wouldn’t have to wait for their paychecks to play.

2. Drunk rich people who are there to enjoy playing poker and gamble some money away. Think people vacationing in Vegas, only these people didn’t make it that far. This includes tourists (LAX is less than five miles away).

3. Professional and semi-pro poker players that are there to shark all the tables and take everyone’s money. User beware.

4. Youngsters that are having their fun on Friday night playing poker and trying to crack everyone in sight. **Note, I probably appear to be one of these players based on my looks.

So anyways, I somehow end up at a $100 No Limit table full of poker player #4’s. All youngsters (25 and under).

There’s two guys that look to be the nerdy UCLA types—they are obviously close friends as they continually glance at each other for approval whenever they play a hand. If they fold, they look at each other for the nod of approval as in “Good fold, Doug, good laydown. He had you beat.” If they win a pot, they look at each other for this nod “Well done, Doug. You really outplayed that guy, way to go.” Typically, these guys are very smart people that are inexperienced in live poker. They have probably read a book or two, played on the internet, and play super tight. I enjoy having them at the table because they are easy as hell to read. When they say “play the player, not the cards,” these are the easiest guys to do it against. Anyways, forget these two because I’m never going to mention them again.

Sitting next to each other are two other buddies. Only these two are the exact opposites of the nerd/rock-tight/college student buddies. These two equate to Bill and Ted version 2007. Two white kids, probably about 21-23 age range, both high as hell (consistently taking Mary Jane breaks), both decked out in rocker/skater gear and look like they haven’t showered in a few weeks. They’re extremely friendly, play every pot, hand out bad beats left and right, and don’t seem to value the money too much. Just lovely. Or should I say "Most excellent, dude!!"



Then there’s myself and one more Asian kid who is a pretty good player. We’ll call him GP. GP is obviously pretty experienced and is constantly joking around with Bill and Ted when he offers them the infamous slice of bread bet.

“I’ll bet you $20 that you can’t eat a slice of bread in a minute, no water allowed.”

Bill and Ted can’t believe their ears.

Bill is about 5’9”, 160 but Ted is a solid 6’2”, 220 and they are ecstatic. Don’t forget they’ve been hitting the good ganja leaf all night long. After hearing their enthusiasm, I think both GP and I heard nothing but dollar signs ringing in our cashiers. So naturally I jumped into the challenge.

“I’ll put up another $20 if you guys want to double it.”

Bill and Ted take it without a second thought. Then GP raises the stakes.

“You guys just wanna do $50 all around? $100 each side?”

Way to go GP. I like this guy. I have never actually seen this slice-of-bread challenge take place, but I figured if Negreanu was willing to give a guy a thousand bucks if he could do it, it must be impossible. I guess I put a lot of faith into the internet story I read. But GP was pretty damn confident and based on the previous four hours of play, he was the (second) most intelligent person at the table.

At this point of the conversation, even the dealer is interested in seeing what will happen. Everyone at the table is equally amused and intrigued that the four of us are willing to bet $50 each on a slice of bread and 60 seconds. Now our problem is getting the bread. The waitress says that they don’t serve single slices of bread, nor is she willing to give us one. So what do we have to do? We have to order a sandwich from the menu and ask for NOTHING on the sandwich. What kind of bullshit is that? So we order the $6 slice of bread.

“Yes, I’d like a turkey and ham sandwich with no turkey, no ham, no mayonnaise, no lettuce…actually I’ll just take the bread, thanks.”

By the time the bread comes, we have about five to ten people surrounding the table waiting to see if Ted can eat the slice. Obviously everyone thinks that we’re idiots for making the bet that he can’t, but we have solid inside information. I actually don’t know how GP knew about this bet, but I’m guessing he’s done it before or read the same article that I did.

The attention at the table draws the casino’s floor manager to our table. He’s pretty pissed off that we are interrupting the action in the poker not only at our table, but now also at the surrounding tables. So this jerk tells us that this challenge will not take place inside his casino, side bets are not allowed and this policy is strictly enforced. He doesn’t care that we just paid seven dollars for two slices of bread. What an asshole.

The funny thing is, he basically forced the four of us to go outside and play this action out. And what happened when we went outside? About 20 people followed us. Security thought a fight had broken out because people ran outside. The dealer at our table was pissed at the floor manager because the dealer had to stay at the table and now he couldn’t see this happen after listening to us hype it up for half an hour.

So Ted, with his bloodshot eyes and chronic-assisted hunger, is the one trying to eat the slice. Bill is timing him. GP and I are starting to get a little worried. After all, it doesn’t sound too hard to eat a slice of bread in a minute. It actually sounds pretty easy.

00:60 It’s go time.

00:48 Not even 15 seconds have gone by and Ted has half of the slice in his mouth.

Shit!!

00:40 Now 20 seconds have gone by and he’s still chewing. We might have a hope.

00:30 30 seconds go by. He’s still chewing.

00:25 35 seconds…still chewing…

00:20 40 seconds have gone by and he is still chewing on the first half of the bread and his mouth is still full.

00:15 Now he’s down to 15 seconds, with a full mouth of dough, and he spits it out and throws the other half of bread into the parking lot.

Ship the money!!

Although Ted made a valiant effort, looking back I have to think that the cotton mouth that Ted must have had from smoking weed definitely gave us more of an edge than we already had or even needed. But I think the fun that Bill and Ted had that night was well worth their hundred bucks. Well, not to mention they lost all of their remaining money to us in poker as well.

Since that Friday a few months ago, I have made over $150 more on the slice of bread bet. For anyone reading this, I strongly suggest challenging anyone to this bet. I have never met someone who didn’t think they could eat a slice of bread in a minute. And I have also never met someone that could do it. Sounds easy enough right?