My New Best Friend

I hit up Hollywood Park yesterday.

When I got there it was packed. Not really packed, but all of the tables were full. So I put my name on the long list of people waiting for a $200 table.

Not happening.

Eventually they started a new table, which is nice because everyone is starting out with the same stack and I'm not walking into a firestorm.

I was doing well, up about $100 or $150 when my jacks ran into sixes on a board of 9-6-6. Yes, the emmy-effer had quads. At least I folded the turn to him after betting into his quads. I couldn't figure out why he would keep checking if he had a six and there was a flush draw on the board. Oh, maybe because he has four fucking sixes. *Note to self: Don't bet into quads.* That crippled my stack to about $100.

I then tripled up on a five outer. AhJh and I raise to $25. Four callers. Flop comes 10-K-J with one heart. I check, everyone checks to the button, who bets $30 into a $130 pot. I'm thinking he either has the nuts or I have him beat, so I go all-in for my last $75. He calls with KQ. Turn: Jack. River: blank. Paws de pot.

I won some small pots and built up to about $400-$500 when my new best friend sat down.

This guy sits directly on my right (perfect). He's clearly not sober, his arms are tatted from hand to sleeve and he pulls a huge wad of benny frankies out of his pocket. He's a friendly guy and goes on to tell me that he just got back from Vegas and came straight to Hollywood Park from the airport. Not to mention he said he won $5k in Vegas. Oh yeah, did I mention he was fucked up (FUUUUCKED UP) off of what I am guessing was that grade A 100% pure Colombiano cocaine. Seriously, my man was sniffing air every 15 seconds. He sits down and asks me if I smoke weed. I laugh and he asks where he can get some. I told him I'll make a couple calls. He said his girlfriend, who is on the next table, is fiendin for a hit. He says he will pay $100 for an 8th, lol. Not that I would know this type of information, but an 8th usually goes for $50-$60. So anyways, this guy is clearly under the influence and willing to throw money away.

First hand he's in, I get pocket aces. He raises to $15. I re-raise him to $45. He thinks and calls. Flop is all rags. I bet $35. He calls. Turn is a queen. I bet $50, he goes all-in. I call, he has KQ.

He said he knew I had aces the whole time but when the queen hit the turn, he completely forgot that he knew I had aces and pushed on me.

He went through about five or six buy-ins on complete bluffs before he eventually won a few hands (he was playing every hand). He couldn't believe that people were calling him down, yet he was going all-in on every river. Hmm... Yeah, I just can't figure it out either. He finally started building his stack to a little over $400 when I got in another hand with him. He raises, I have pocket sevens. A few people call, including Old Man Winter. Flop comes 10-7-2. Drunky bets $15. I call. Old Man Winter calls. Turn is an ace. Drunky bets $40, I raise him to $80 (hoping either one of them has an ace), Old Man Winter folds, drunky calls. River is a jack. I bet $50. Drunky goes all-in for $250. F*ck. I really do think he just hit the backdoor straight on me (how ironic). I think he has KQ here. But based on his resume, there's no way I can lay my set down. I call, he shows QQ and he is quite disturbed by the fact that he can't bet anyone off their hand.

Meanwhile, his girlfriend is terrorizing the next table over. In the same 45 minutes that he's lost a G-ball, she's run her stack up to $1600 from $200. I tell him of the good news and he says "It doesn't matter, it will all be gone by the time we leave. I know her, she is a gambler." This statement makes me want to table change but the action is too good already at my table.

In the midst of this donkathon, Drunky calls his weed man and tells him "Yo, you gotta come to Hollywood Park Casino. I've never been this serious in my life. I'm so serious. I need an eighth. I will pay you and buy you into a poker game, just get here!"

Unfortunately for my boy Fred, he ran into Drunky when he finally had a real hand. That's the problem with donkeys - they're bound to catch a real hand sometime and you just have to hope it's not against you because you almost have to call them down with any pair. Fred actually had top pair but Drunky had AQ for the kicker. It's the worst feeling to lose a hand to a horrible player when you know they are about to give that shit back within ten minutes to someone else. You just have to hope you're the one that gets it.

The night wore on and Drunky kept losing money. Everyone was getting paid. He was pushing on people when they had pocket aces. One of the worst hands I've ever seen:

Drunky raises to $15
Button raises to $75
Drunky calls
Flop: 4h-5h-3d
Drunky then says under his breath to me "Fuck, I got a piece of that. I hate this game."
Drunky checks
Button bets $50
Drunky thinks for five minutes
Drunky raises to $100
At this point I'm hoping he has the nuts so that he gets a bigger stack.
Button goes all-in
Drunky thinks for five minutes and starts talking about how he has to suck out but he thinks he can do it. Drunky puts his final $200 in.
Turn: 10, river jack
Button shows aces
Drunky shows K-7 of spades

Try and figure that one out.

Twenty minutes later Drunky takes a smoke break with his chick. He comes back and says to me: "Ask her how much money she has left."

She tells me not to ask her and so I just say "It's all gone, isn't it?" She nods her head and just like that they are off into the night, my new best friend and his girl.

I can't even get into Old Man Winter and his horrible method of playing poker, which seems to somehow be working like a gem over the past three days.

So it was a good night and I feel like I know what I'm doing again...thanks to my new best friend.

And there is a moral to the story:

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