Spooked the F**k Out

I got spooked the f*#k out last night.

I'm dead serious, I haven't been this spooked in a minute. I think since I saw "Devil's Advocate," which along with "Constantine" and Wizard of Oz, were the only three movies to ever scare me. For about six months after I watched Wizard of Oz, I thought those piece of sh*t monkeys were chasing me all over the place. I used to run wind sprints through my house just to get away from those demonic monkey bastards.



After work I was about to leave and I went back into the conference room where I knew some of my co-workers were playing "Big Two," a poker-related card game. I sat down and wasted about two hours playing the "scum" version of this game. I finally left, two hours later than planned and headed home. I was now running extremely late for my plans of seeing a movie that night.

Nothing spooky yet? No sh*t, we're getting there.

I stop and get dinner, go home, fold laundry and all of a sudden it's already 10 p.m.

I called my friend and ask her if she'd rather go see "Transformers," which we've already seen but I fell asleep in the first five minutes (and she loved the movie) or just nix the movies and go smoke one on the beach.

She is impartial to either and I decide we're going to the beach. With blankets.

We hang out on the beach for a while, light the Bob Marley, etc. Not that it matters, but it was "that time of the month" so really nothing major was going down (and I'm a virgin anyways).

Just to give some perspective, the beach at night is pretty calm and dead. About once an hour someone will walk along the shoreline with their dog and there are random couples scattered throughout the beach but there was no one within 200 yards of us. At least that's what I thought.



We're feeling good after our Bob Marley reunion and we're pretty preoccupied with each other (actually very preoccupied with each other) and getting into it just about as much as you can when the monthly visit is present.

I'm on my back and she is laying on top of me and we're just kind of "snuggling" or whatever. I'm rubbing on her back and she's kissing my neck and then I feel an arm between my legs. Based on the way we're positioned I'm thinking in my head "I don't think that's her arm?!"

But in the back of my mind I was thinking there's no way that's someone else's arm. But I just have to peak up to make sure. And WHAT THE FUCK WHERE IS MY GRAND DADDY'S RIFLE some dude was RIGHT THERE and took off running.

I was spooked, but I didn't say too much to her because I was trying to avoid all hell breaking loose. She was facing me so she never even saw the guy and apparently didn't hear him either.

I told her to chill out for a second because someone was close. At this point I sat up and was looking around and finally spotted someone who resembled the same guy down by the shoreline.

I really have no idea. Based on this person's willingness to risk their life, I'm guessing he's not alone. So I'm asking myself 'Do I really want to go down by the water and risk getting surprised attacked by four teenagers?' No, I don't. 'Can I fight in sand? I've never done it. Matter of fact, can I fight at all?' I also have no idea who this person is. It happened so fast and it was dark and the face was just a blur. It looked like a teenager but I could be wrong.

So I'm watching this silhouette by the shoreline and telling her that I think that's the guy that was close. Of course I told her that he was like ten feet away watching us, when in fact he was touching my fucking leg.

I'm just waiting for his buddies to show up and sure enough someone gets up out of nowhere off the sand. Now I'm just sitting there staring at them (like 300 feet away) waiting for them to try and come back. I advised her to put her shoes on because we're leaving.

Then they both start walking towards us. At this point I don't think they can decipher what we're doing, they can only see that we're still down on the blanket.

I'm like 6'1" so I stand up, remembering the tactic I once saw on the Discovery Channel to scare a black bear away in the woods. I'm not really excited about the idea of these two guys coming over to us and getting in a confrontation with them. I have no idea who they are, what kind of drugs they're on, or what their ambition in life is. So I stand up just to let them know that they are not about to have some peeping tom perverted type of shit, but rather a physical encounter with yours truly if they come over where we're at.

As soon as they see me stand up, the second character walks the other way and sits down and the first guy walks down the shoreline acting as if he meant to walk down there the whole time. I'm heated right now because it's pretty obvious they were coming over to where we were at.

I want to see this guy so I walk back to the street real, real slow and when I can finally make out what the guy looks like, he looks nothing like the face I remembered seeing when I first sat up. This spooks me even more. The guy has a similar hat on, but this guy is old and walking around with a flashlight. Did I imagine the whole thing of someone being that close to us? I don't think so, but how come the first guy looks nothing like the second guy? The whole situation made me a little sick.

I got away from that beach so quick after that and even though I hoped to forget that feeling I had forever, I decided to share it with y'all for the love of the back door straight.

I took another night off last night. Tonight I'm going to probably play a few sit n go's on Full Tilt and I'll be back at Hollywood Park on Thursday. I'm going to start a new goal of just making $200/night on weeknights and filling up the tank on the weekends.

We'll see.

I don't think this will haunt me for six months like the flying psycho chimps did, but I can guarantee I'm never going back to the beach in L.A. at night on a date.

** On another note, my song and my opponent's song has been posted for the rap tournament/contest. Here is the link. My song is just a parody on the "Still D.R.E." song by Dr. Dre. If you're not familiar with hip hop on the internet, my song probably won't make any sense to you. He did a remix of a Rakim song and he spit some heat. Ironically, I guess we share the same rap alias, spelled differently. Sh*t happens.



Peace.